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Gottman Method

What It Is

John Gottman has conducted nearly 40 years of research and pioneered relationship studies to identify what makes relationships last. As clinical psychologists - with his wife Julie Gottman, they discovered key elements apply to couples in all phases of life. The Gottman Method for Healthy Relationships is couples-based therapy and education with nine components called The Sound Relationship House. With trust and commitment, The Sound Relationship House ranges from mentally mapping your partner's world to breaking through relationship gridlock. This scientific approach uncovered that negative emotions hurt relationships more than positive emotions help relationships. By assessing a couples' relationship, structured therapy and research-based interventions establish understanding between partners to maintain fondness and admiration. Learn to meet your partner's needs (especially when they are hurting), manage conflict, and support their dreams. And, know what to do when they mess up (because everyone does). [source]

How It Works

To begin, The Gottman Method illustrates that love - one of life's richest experiences - has sound science related to it based on real observations. Further, research shows that couples grow apart emotionally when negativity abounds and is not counteracted. The Gottman Method identifies behaviors that underlie intimacy and addresses their corresponding state of mind. In fact, it helps partners positively orient themselves toward each other to sustain through difficult circumstances. Altogether, the therapy session is conducted with both partners and addresses each individual's perspectives and wishes. [source]

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Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

by John Gottman

1. Enhance Your Love Maps

  • Develop an awareness of your partner's world

2. Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration

  • Make deposits into the emotional bank account

3. Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away

  • Accept bids for emotional connection

4. Let Your Partner Influence You

  • Learn to regard your partner's point of view

5. Solve Your Solvable Problems

  • Be willing to negotiate and compromise

6. Overcome Gridlock

  • Take turns listening to each other about perpetual problems

7. Create Shared Meaning

  • Build a shared sense of purpose: What is your legacy?

Visit The Gottman Institute for more on The Sound Relationship House.

Gottman Method

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